Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
