The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
