The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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