Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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