apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
