I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize