you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
