he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
