I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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