I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
