He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
