In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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