i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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