is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
