Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize