I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just had sex on a roof
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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