I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
