Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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