a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
