okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
