I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
