So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
