He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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