Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
