yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
