It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
