halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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