You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
