I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the gays at disneyland are vicious
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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