i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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