Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize