I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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