doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
