I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
