I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
