She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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