her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
