In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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