I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
