You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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