I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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