I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
