she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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