i barfeds in our rink
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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