I am in a vortex of obligation.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Two words: blizzard sex
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
