Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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