I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize