you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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