shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
