Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club