Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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