i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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