Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
