watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
