piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My nipple is on Facebook.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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