you guys were way drunker than both of me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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