so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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