Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize