Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
