I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?