small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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