you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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