Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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