Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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