I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
