I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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