We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
