Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need a beard to bite.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
